Quit Playin’ We Must Cut The Line

By Vincent L. Hall Texas Metro News

Man, what a flashback. As I was about to walk into a local 7-11 store, a 10 or 11-year-old Hispanic
brother spotted me. He got to the door six paces before me, glanced back, and did something that
shocked me. He opened the door for me, said “hello,” and smiled! Man, you can’t imagine how
flabbergasted I was. The art of being a gentleman is all but lost in our society. We have allowed
blowhards, bullies, and blustery personalities to take center stage. Manhood in America has become
aligned with arrogance, self-righteousness, and myopia. This young man needed to know that I
appreciated him. His parents are developing an old-school gentleman.
My paternal grandfather, always irascible and moody, insisted that diplomacy was the best policy. Ed
Hall said, “It’s nice to be nice, but when you can’t, kick ’em in the ass.” Which meant…be a gentleman for
as long as it’s feasible, but don’t be no fool. Both of my grandmothers were stickler for charm and
chivalry and developed some rigor in me that isn’t widespread in America anymore. For example, if a
woman comes to sit next to a man, he is to stand until she is seated and then he can sit. If she gets ready
to leave that seat, he should stand until she is gone.
Try it brothers! If we were standing, facing a woman who was sitting, we had to ensure that she was not
staring into our crotch. That sounds extreme, but you would be surprised to know how often that law is
violated and found offensive. There is no way to gauge how many elevators I’ve missed because there
were women present who must be allowed aboard before me. It is difficult for me to walk past anyone
without gaining eye contact and offering my salutations. Mama said you have to speak to them if you
didn’t sleep with them. I thank my mother and my family daily for making and molding me into the
gentleman I am known to be.
They took the time to teach us chivalry and common courtesy. Courtesy is an essential tool to create
and sustain respectful relationships. Unfortunately, too many of our young men lack grandmothers or
women in their life who require and reward good behavior. So, we should create the type of village that
plugs that gap. Believe it or not, good habits are easily encouraged. You can do it in your car!
Say you need to change lanes. After eight other “A-Holes” ignored your turn signal, there was one kind
soul who beckoned you to cut the line. For them you roll down the window and wave to show your
appreciation. They will feel good about it! Truck drivers and those who know the code do it regularly. If
you can’t squeeze your 1978 Cadillac Coupe De ‘Ville in a lane, imagine doing it with an 18-wheeler
wagging a 53-foot trailer.
Whenever you see a trucker trying to negotiate a lane change, blink your lights to let the driver know
they can cut the line. They will reward you by flashing their trailer lights several times. They just may be
carrying that baby formula you need! The net result is that we all feel good when we know we did a
good deed. There is no greater feeling than being acknowledged for showing compassion. My mother
says if you say thanks well enough, people want to experience your thanks again.

After all, you felt like a butthole when you didn’t let a fellow driver cut the line. You felt uneasy after you
lie to beggars who ask you for money. You were being mean when the truth is you would gladly donate
a dollar than trade places with them. Being a gentleman is not all about gender or chivalry. Being a
gentleman is about showering others with a smidgen of the grace that God showers on you daily.
Grandmother Hall said that you might be better off, but you are no better than anyone else. So, the next
time someone needs to cut the line, think about how great the reward is for such little investment. It
may cost you 10 seconds, but being kind regularly adds years to your life. Oh, you don’t want to live
long? Come on, and I’ll let you cut the line. I ain’t in no hurry.

Vincent L. Hall is an author, activist, and an award-winning columnist.