My name is Tanya Rucker, and this is my story.
Four years ago in May, I received the devastating news that I had breast cancer. It all started with a lump that I felt in my right breast. It was the size of a pea which I found accidentally. My husband and I were lying in bed one evening and he just happened to roll over onto my right breast. The next day there was discomfort so I did a self-breast exam and that’s when I felt the lump. I thought it was a simple cyst because it was hard, round, and mobile. However, I found myself having an overwhelming fear of the “what if!”
I reached out to my provider to be evaluated. My gynecologist was able to see me the next day. She completed a breast exam and ordered imaging. I was able to get an appointment for a diagnostic mammogram and breast ultrasound immediately. The mammogram was normal. The ultrasound was conducted shortly after. It revealed two suspicious areas which were biopsied the same day. I laid on that table and remembered feeling anxious, nervous, and very scared. I am an ultrasound technologist so I knew immediately what they were looking at.
The lump I felt showed all the characteristics of cancer. It took less than a week for the results to come back, and just like that, I knew everything was going to be different.
The radiologist who I worked alongside for years informed me that the test results showed invasive ductal carcinoma in the two areas biopsied. The radiologist recommended that I get an MRI of the breast to see if there were any other lesions.
I was devastated, crying, and could not understand what was being said. I could not comprehend what I was hearing. I was blessed to have my girlfriend there when I heard the news. Together, we called my husband and developed a game plan. Once I was able to calm my nerves, clear my eyes and stop the hysterical crying, I went into action. I made appointments with an oncologist, plastic surgeon, breast surgeon and MRI. Once the MRI results came back, the breast surgeon, Dr. Horowitz, explained that I had cancerous lesions in three different areas of the right breast. She was going to bring my case to the tumor board to consult on a surgical plan. She was hoping that she could conduct multiple lumpectomies to save my right breast. I quickly informed her that was not my plan.
I knew I wanted a DIEP flap reconstruction and needed to decide if I wanted a bilateral or unilateral mastectomy. My husband and I discussed what was best for me and our young family. Thankfully, my surgery was scheduled for July 2, 2020, for a nipple sparing bilateral mastectomy with a DIEP flap reconstruction.
I arrived. I am blessed to have an amazing medical team, two loving children, a husband, family, and friends who provided unwavering support. I leaned on my faith to get through some of my darkest moments and meditation to keep my mind calm. I am blessed to have a voice and a warm embrace for the next
person who faces a breast cancer diagnosis. We are not alone at Yale New Haven Hospital. My husband and mom were by my side. This was by far the hardest day of my life. I had to leave my husband and mom behind while I was escorted to the OR prep area. The hospital was still under COVID-19 precautions, so visitors were restricted. I could not believe I was all alone!
Twelve hours and two units of blood later, while recovering in a private room, I was informed that they had gotten clear borders, and I did not have any lymph node
involvement. Pathology determined that my cancer was classified as Stage 1. My oncologist ordered an additional test called Oncotype Post-Surgery.
The Oncotype test determines if it would be beneficial to receive chemotherapy. My Oncotype score was low. Therefore, chemo was not recommended. My treatment plan was 10-15 years of tamoxifen. I was given tamoxifen because I was premenopausal and HR +.
A cancer diagnosis brings a flood of complex emotions. I remember I was so angry – angry that this was my second cancer in my lifetime. I was diagnosed with
thyroid cancer at age 29, now breast cancer at 43. I questioned, “Why now? Why could I not have been a lot older?” I was 43, with two young children. My youngest was three years old and my oldest was four years old at the time. I was angry that 1 in 8 women are diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in their life. I was angry that I knew five other women in my inner circle who were also diagnosed with breast cancer that same year. The anger eventually lessened and was replaced with acceptance.
I am blessed to have an amazing medical team, two loving children, a husband, family, and friends who provided unwavering support. I leaned on my faith to get through some of my darkest moments and meditation to keep my mind calm. I am blessed to have a voice and a warm embrace for the next
person who faces a breast cancer diagnosis. We are not alone.
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