Community Baby Shower Slated For Saturday

by Laura Glesby

A group of local doulas wants to invite you to your baby shower.

Whether or not you’ve had a shower before. Whether or not you could afford one. Whether you’re expecting a new baby or already raising one post-partum. Whether you have a strong support system or you feel like you’re on your own.

The baby shower will take place this upcoming Saturday, Oct. 17, at the Dixwell Q House. You can come anytime from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

There, you’ll find a party: a DJ, a dance floor, catered food, a big wicker chair for cute photos.

You’ll also find free diapers, on-site lactation support and prenatal massages, a community clothing swap, and a whole array of other healthcare, financial and parenting resources — open to anyone who wants or needs that help.

If this year’s fifth annual New Haven Community Baby Shower is anything like the previous four iterations, you’ll find a community of other new and expecting families.

In past years, some attendees came with their families, wearing baby shower sashes, according to co-organizer Shannon Knox; some said they wouldn’t have been able to afford a shower of their own.

“We have a lot of parents that come straight from the hospital” — including plenty of new dads — looking to stock up on supplies for their newborn, said co-organizer Shamica Frasier.

Some people come even though they aren’t parents — they’re just curious, or have questions about other health stages like menopause, or simply want to show support. They’re welcome, too.

The organizers — Shamica Frasier, Jessica Mullins, Lucinda Canty, Shannon Knox, and Brittany Needham — are all doulas who have dedicated their lives to supporting people through pregnancy and birth.

They are also all Black mothers who know what it’s like to seek out maternal healthcare in a country where Black women are nearly twice as likely as white women to die from pregnancy, in a state in which babies born to Black mothers are four times more likely to die as infants.

The community baby shower, said Mullings, models an alternative to a “white-picket-fence approach to healthcare needs.” Supports that are not always institutionalized as essential maternal health resources, such as lactation consultants and doulas, are accessible on the spot. Financial and material support is included alongside medical infrastructure, and attendees don’t need to prove that they are eligible to receive free supplies or clothes. The shower will feature many Black healthcare providers, who are profoundly underrepresented in many maternal health fields.

For the organizers, the work is personal. “I was one who needed resources,” said Fraiser, who was a teenager when she had her first baby, a new single mom in need of housing. “I needed the free move. I needed the diapers. I needed the stamps. I needed support.” She remembered feeling guilt while asking for help, wondering if she needed the resources as much as someone else.

Mullins recalled “that stigma of walking into a statewide or citywide office and you see people and they’re filling out papers and it’s very sterile.”

Of course, plenty of new and expecting parents receive support that doesn’t come with the same stigma: advice, hand-me-downs, and gifts from family and friends with resources to spare.

The Community Baby Shower is a means of replicating that spirit of community support in a way that is accessible to everyone.

It’s also a celebration of the act of asking for help and receiving it as a parent.

At the baby shower, “People really gravitate towards being able to do the things that they were scared of,” said Frasier.

The environment, she said, “gives them the courage to ask the questions, gives them the courage to know that they have rights and how much their rights matter over their body, over their choices, over their future baby’s choices.”

Pregnancy and parenthood are tender experiences, said Knox. “Not a lot of people know how to handle people during that vulnerable season. And in this space, people come there, and they learn,” she said.

“They see firsthand how we tend to pregnant people, to expecting families. And I really appreciate that about the space,” said Knox. “It brings that culture out and reminds people: Take care of the pregnant people around you.”

The Baby Shower will feature a range of other maternal healthcare providers and advocates; an array of support enrolling in benefits, peer support, and case management; and a variety of early childhood and education resources.

Vendors are slated to include Golden Radiance Village, Lucinda’s House, Mom & Me lactation coaching, Fair Haven Community Health Care, Enrich Health, Chi Chapter Inc., All of Us Research Program, the Before and After Baby Lab, EmpowerEdD Health and Education Collective, CT Paid Leave, HUSKY, transitional housing from the Connection, United Way Parent Ambassadors, Nurturing Families, massages by Holistic Remedies LLC, Head Start early childhood education, Read to Grow literacy support, the Sankofa Learning Center, Sparkler, the New Haven Police Activities League, photography by RME Media, and music by DJ R-nice.