by Laura Glesby The New Haven independent
When Shamica Frasier first became pregnant as a teenager, she didn’t have the luxury of a baby shower. She needed to find a job, a new place to live, and encouraging words weren’t always within earshot.
“That’s what makes me excited about celebrating others,” she said on the heels of the fourth annual New Haven Community Baby Shower, which drew over 100 families to the Q House on Saturday for food, photos, a clothing swap, free diapers, and a multitude of maternal health resources.
The shower filled the Q House gymnasium with new and expecting parents, who could find anything from diapers to massages to lactation aid for free, along with a chance to honor a new chapter of parenthood with community support.
Frasier (the founder of New Birth Journey) helped organize the event alongside Shannon Knox and Brittany Needham (of Golden Radiance Village) and Lucinda Canty (of Lucinda’s House). The four are all practicing doulas or nurse-midwives who have found a vocation in helping expecting parents learn about the process of giving birth, advocate for their own healthcare, and prepare for a time of profound vulnerability and change.
Having started four years ago as part of a statewide maternal healthcare effort, the shower was partly an effort to connect community members to health resources. All were welcome at the shower, but the organizers made a particular effort to include resources for Black women, who as of 2022 had a maternal mortality rate 2.5 times as high as white women.
The shower was also an opportunity to ensure that people who might not have as much support or stability, as Frasier experienced herself as a teenager, could hear the encouragement she wished she had received while pregnant.
“I know what it feels like to be that single mama who doesn’t know who to ask or where to turn,” Frasier said. “Sometimes, people are going through hard things, so you don’t want to ask. Someone shouldn’t have to ask, ‘Can you celebrate me? Can you celebrate me bringing life into this world?’”
“To be celebrated for carrying and bringing babies into this world is very, very necessary,” echoed fellow organizer Knox, who stressed “how important it is for us to bring everybody together to be there for pregnant and expecting parents, ‘cause that’s a very vulnerable time.”
Among the items given away were baby strollers.
At the shower, families could win free strollers and take home packs of diapers from the New Haven Diaper Bank. They could partake in a clothing swap and get a free massage from Holistic Remedies. They could shop for hair growth oil (fitting for postpartum hair loss) at Kway’s Collection. Local caterer Dope N Delicious ensured that everyone was fed. DJ Ryan McCrea kept the music flowing.
Families were also met with an array of resources for future reference. Healthcare workers represented Yale New Haven Hospital, New Haven Healthy Start’s maternal healthcare program, and an array of independent doulas and midwives. Lactation coaches educated and problem-solved with new parents on the spot. Amelia Sherwood, the founder of Sankofa Learning Center, set up books and face paint while introducing parents to Afro-centric Montessori early education.
“This was the kind of event where everyone was sticking around,” said Knox. “We needed more tables. It felt like a family reunion.”
Frasier noticed that “as much as we have moms, we have dads” coming in to learn about birth and parenthood. ”This is a safe space for them. … They come in and they ask questions. ‘I think I need some help with my 15-year-old daughter… What do you mean, pads have wings?!’”
There were more vendors than ever — over 20 — at this year’s community baby shower. “Something about this year felt uniquely special,” reflected Frasier. “Everyone was able to walk away with something.”
She said that the baby shower was an example of how grassroots, community-driven efforts can have a profound impact, even if they are underestimated. She argued that grassroots resources that come directly from neighbors and community members are worthy of investment, especially at a time when the federal government is slashing resources like SNAP and Medicaid that keep many New Haveners afloat.
Frasier’s intended message to the new parents who came is that “even though things are tough, and it looks like we’re coming up on a very tough storm, you’re not alone. This is the time to get more acquainted with your community.”
Knox wrote her own message to those families: “You have a community that genuinely cares about you and the families you are growing. We honor you. We see you. We will show up for you, just as quickly as we show up for the babies you carry.”
“When parents are well cared for, babies are well cared for,” Knox wrote.